Delicate Tissue

Posted on Jan 01, 2005 | Tags: | Comments (0)

The delicate tissue of the forsaken place
Where only spirits dwell and man’s eyes only wish to gaze
But have lost the key, which reveals this pathway to my heart
This delicate tissue of my soul
Which has been guarded to the point of oblivion
To the point that even I forgot it existed
This delicate tissue is likened to the cities of gold or the fountain of youth
That is only talked about and never seen
But that’s idealizing it
This delicate tissue is more like El Mozote
Whose massacre has long been buried under dirt and soil
But the bones of women and children are just beginning to surface
Blood
Dirt
And decaying clothing
And so forgive me
Forgive me for being suspicious when I find you walking down the corridors of my school of thought
I thought I had barricaded the doors and boarded up these windows
How did you get in?
This delicate tissue becoming vulnerable like a woman giving birth for the first time
At the mercy of the doctor
O Great Physician
Do you come bearing forceps?
And where are the drugs?  Where are the drugs?
Oh, I forgot, I’m sober now
And I watch like a child whose mother is gently squeezing out a splinter in pain and agony and curiosity
And you bend over the excavation area
Slowly unearthing my everything for your scrutiny
And the apprehension I feel as I watch the candles flicker
And I know you are inching your way closer and closer to me
On the couch of my emotions
Is driving me so insanely close to insanity that I tried to commit myself the other day
Or maybe that was a dream
Maybe this is all a dream
And tomorrow I’ll awake
And rest comfortably in the way things have always been
And sustain the delicate tissue that I poured into ice trays and stored in the freezer
So I could serve my cups of bitterness cold
And drink my misery slowly causing me to become desensitized overtime to how real life is supposed to feel
But I pinch myself
And I now that I am in fact
Awake